THE FINAL PAGE

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Expository  Files  3.2
 (Feb., 1996)


Warren E. Berkley

Leslie Diestelkamp was a faithful gospel preacher who shared his understanding of the Scriptures through printed media. I regret I never lived very close to bro. Diestelkamp, and only met him a few times and talked to him on the phone once. Shortly before my 1981 preaching trip to the Philippines I discussed some of my plans with him on the phone. He said, “every time a gospel preacher goes into the Philippines, I pray for him and wish I could go too.” 

Bro. Diestelkamp died recently, after a lengthy illness following a stroke. I would like to share a sample of his work below with readers of Expository Files. -web

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HOME WRECKERS

Leslie Diestelkamp, 1911-1995
{“Here Am I, Send Me,” p.#90}


“To be forewarned is to be forearmed," someone has said, and also, ''An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.'' So it seems good to consider some of the obvious things that ruin so many marriages. This is done with the hope that readers may be prepared in heart and body to avoid these pitfalls, and also that we may all warn others -- the children, the youth and all who might be susceptible to these dangers. Consider the following three significant wreckers:   

1. Marriages are destroyed by accumulative quarreling. I do not mean that arguments and quarrels break marriages, but I mean when these become accumulative in nature they certainly do. It is like this: we quarrel on Monday, but finally we settle it and kiss and make up. On Tuesday we quarrel again (I hasten to add they should not come so often as this) and this time we do not begin afresh, but we review Monday's arguments. ''I told you that yesterday,'' we exclaim. Finally, though, we settle it again, and again we kiss and make up. But, on Wednesday we have another argument, and we review Monday's troubles and Tuesday's problems. When we settle it this time, we make up, but we do not kiss. Then. on Thursday we go at it again, and it becomes like a snowball rolling downhill -- it gets out of control. This time we don't make up! To save our marriages, we must refuse to hold grudges; we must forgive and forget. We must not let arguments accumulate as described above.   

2. Unwise intimacies also destroy marriages. Too many men and women spend much more time with someone other than their own husband or wife, at least in waking hours. And too many times this leads to an intimate association that, in turn, may lead to overwhelming temptation and/or to jealousies by the real companion at home. If you count your marriage precious, then avoid, at all cost, intimacies with others that would jeopardize your soul, your marriage and your home.   

3. Many marriages fail because of unsatisfied emotions. Paul warned of this in I Cor. 7:5: ''Defraud ye not one the other . . . that Satan tempt ye not for your incontinency.'' When either partner is not emotionally satisfied, either may be tempted unnecessarily It is important for each marriage partner to realize that one of the greatest joys of the marriage relationship is not only to be satisfied, but to give satisfaction to the other! This requires devotion and wise discernment of the needs of the companion, and it may produce the greatest of marital joys.   

Marriages are often wrecked, not by one great tragedy or by one major mistake, but by many little errors such as unkind words, rudeness, harshness, selfishness and jealousies. However, marriages may also be destroyed by little failures, such as refusal to apologize, Lack of gratitude, absence of tenderness and thoughtfulness.  

 Married people need always to be watchful for those little things that may accumulate into tragic proportions of strife and discord. These must be stopped early for later it will be too late indeed. ''A stitch in time saves nine” and a marriage may be saved by alertness in eliminating little difficulties immediately, lest they grow into insurmountable obstacles and lead to ruin and eternal destruction for one or both partners. 

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